i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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