i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
