If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
