make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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