Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
