i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
