i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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