I faked an abortion last night.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
