I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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