then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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