You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
