I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
