I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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