I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
