she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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