And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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