I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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