Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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