there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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