my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
