I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
