Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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