I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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