turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So much Jack, so little girl.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
