my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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