I wannas sexs uuuuu
the condom got lost in my hair
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
