ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
