Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
