Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
