If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Someone came in the potted fern
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
