He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
