this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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