her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
