So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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