You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
