my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
