Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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