You just made me feel so damn special
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
