dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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