Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
