Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
