btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
