I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
