that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
