And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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