then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
