Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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