I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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