he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
