could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
