you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
